Author: Mak. Carpenter
When I was younger, I thought it was normal,
to live everyday like I was a puppet.
Smiling a nodding,
the girl who always smiles they called me,
but now that I’m grown, I know it’s a lie.
Youth was spent in prison,
I just never realized it.
My prison was wearing tutus and pink,
being the perfect princess for my family,
the ones people idolized at gathering,
the one who had every expectation to live up to.
I was naïve and young.
My middle years were spent in a new prison,
one that tasted like copper and ice water,
smelled of nothing but salty tears and burnt hair.
Everyone thought I was rebelling,
I was finding myself.
Prison was having a curfew at the end of school,
being forced into choir,
having to get straight A’s,
having to live up to everything my parents and grandparents never got to.
By fourteen I could speak three languages,
in each my favorite phrase was “help”
it was a sign.
By fifteen I was forced into my sister’s sports team,
only recognized my her face on me.
By sixteen I was numb,
my prison sentence became everyday that I grew accustomed to it.
Never thinking about freedom,
never thinking about me.
At seventeen I knew life was my prison,
I had to make my own rules,
but even with those I’m confined.
Confined to a life set by others,
dictated by how they want.
I will never be their perfect daughter,
I will never be who they want,
I won’t be forced back in my prison,
my words are my escape,
and my final warning.